Birthday Blog

I walked in a parade last weekend. To be honest, the magnitude of that experience was almost lost on me until my daughter-in-law pointed it out. "That's amazing!" she said. "You walked in a parade!" "I did," I said. "And you're right, it is amazing." In light of where I've spent my last three summers, the fact that I was able to walk in a parade is a blessing I do not take for granted. 

One Sunday morning a few weeks ago, I stood on my deck overlooking my favorite view, and realized this is the first summer in four years that I haven't been anticipating or recovering from a surgery, or in the hospital fighting infection. To be honest, I had a little PTSD when spring rolled around this year. Memories of what summers have looked like had left me leery of what the months ahead might hold. But this summer, I made it to August relatively unscathed. Gratitude abounds.

I celebrated another birthday yesterday. The magnitude of THAT statement is NOT lost on me. I am here. And I feel pretty darn good. Not great, but pretty darn good. I'll take it. My family is in a sweet season of joy, which has come after a what felt like a long season of sadness. Mountain after mountain. Grief upon grief. I often tell people cancer was the easier part of the past few years. It certainly wasn't easy, but many days, there was deeper pain to wade through. Still, we made it. I'm sure there are bound to be troubled waters ahead for all of us at some point, but hopefully we've learned how to navigate the storms a little better. Gratitude abounds. 

It feels like there isn't enough time to accomplish all the creative work stirring in my soul these days. I wish for longer days and nights for my brain to sift through, focus on, and unleash the work I long to put out into the world. Some of that work has been graciously dropped in my lap - a gift I don't deserve. Some of it has been simmering for years. Some of it has been refined by fire I have cursed and from which I have begged to be rescued. All of it is somehow welcomed with an open heart, thankful I get to steward the creative work with which I have been entrusted. My body doesn't always cooperate with my desire to do everything I want to do, but it seems to be holding up if I treat it kindly. My soul has battled discouragement, abandonment, and insecurity like never before. And yet, every day, I seem to wake up with a hope that moves me to create - a hope that can only be given by a Creator. Gratitude abounds. 

At the beginning of 2024, I chose the word PEACE as my word for the year. I had many reasons for choosing it, and as usually happens with my "word for the year" it has proven to be a recurring theme for my days. It isn't that I always experience peace like I want to, but I find myself being able to rest in it more than ever, and asking for it more quickly than I have before. Rather than rushing to fix, fight, or fume over something, I am trying to seek peace, offer peace, and trust in the One who gives peace. The moments I fail weigh heavily on me, but in His kindness He has given it when I least deserve it. Gratitude abounds. 

So here's to another year of waking up to possibilities, to taking on the days and nights I am given with renewed hope, and to faithfully doing the work I feel called and compelled to do. Gratitude abounds. 

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