 One of the most beautiful and most difficult things about living a Hopeful Creative life, is the emotional roller coaster on which we find ourselves pretty much every day. In the quest to be sensitive to the world around us, we can feel the weight of those emotions in ways that can cripple us creatively and relationally. I suppose it is the blessing and the curse of being who we are.
I remember when I was initially diagnosed, and in the months thereafter, feeling as if every emotion in me was heightened. Like I had a hypersensitivity to everything and everyone around me. I've heard others say the same thing after they received life-altering news. For the most part, I was profoundly grateful for my new perspective, but for someone who already feels things deeply, it was a lot. In some ways, this brought a level of creative productivity that I hadn't experienced in a while. I wrote more than I ever had. I was flooded with new ideas and dreams. It was actually very inspiring. I know, weird. This season also ushered in depths of sadness, discouragement, and fear I hadn't experienced before. Not surprising, I suppose, but the circumstances that brought on these emotions weren't all related to cancer. I found myself grieving things and fearful of situations regarding family, friends, my work, and other various aspects of life, to the extent that I often found myself sitting in my office or at my kitchen counter telling God, "Uh, you'd better do something here, 'cause I'm not good right now." I need to interject here and acknowledge the fact that what my body was going through, and continues to go through, due to surgeries, treatments, and long term medications, can undoubtedly be blamed for some of what was happening to me. The sucky thing about cancer treatment is that while yes, it can kill the cancer cells, it also kills a whole lot of good things, too. Navigating the choices you are given in regards to treatment is a journey all its own, and I will never question anyone's choice to do whatever treatment they decide to do or not do. So yes, I know the sheer fact the I was physically a mess led to some very messy emotional moments. I've thought a lot about how to maintain the level of sensitivity and creative energy I want and need to have in order to stay true to what I believe is my mission in life - to do creative work that inspires and equips others to do their creative work. I am as equally left and right brained as a person can be, so while I crave inspiration and the freedom to create when that inspiration strikes, I also crave structure and a disciplined approach to doing the work I love. I've spent quite a bit of time coming up with a list of guiding principles to help me live the kind of life, a Hopeful Creative life, I desire. Over the next couple of days, I'm going to share that list with you. You might be a bit surprised at some of the principles on my list and think they don't directly relate to creativity. However, what I have found in my quest to live the Hopeful Creative life, is that my main focus needs to be on the kind of human I want to be, because if I don't get that right, the rest doesn't matter. But, as I get my head and heart in the right space, the potential for my creative life to grow and prosper increases exponentially. Also, because I am a person of great faith, that one thing shapes my approach to my days more than anything else. You might not share that faith, but I think you'll still find some things on my list to help you do what you love to do. So, I hope you'll come back more this week to see what's keeping me going creatively these days. It's a list that has provided a much needed framework for me to function, body and soul, in this crazy world. Until then... With hope, G
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