The Good Heavy

Life has been a lot, lately. Just one of those seasons, I guess. The kind of season when the skies open and stuff pours out that you're thankful for and afraid of and overwhelmed by and excited about and on and on. There is a heaviness to it all because, well, the stuff of life can be heavy. But, I have learned there is a bad heavy and a good heavy. My perspective on both has changed in recent years. 

My mother recently moved in with us after a fall left her unable to go back home. I got scan results that weren't exactly what I hoped for - nothing worth panicking over, but enough to warrant another scan in 3 months and make me amp up my efforts to be healthy. Work has required a little extra of me. Each of these has brought its own weight with it, but the combination of those things, along with some weight that shall go unnamed, has been especially heavy. And yet, it's okay. 

It's okay because I feel like I have borne the weight of circumstances that were much heavier and survived. It's okay because learning to count it all joy has proven to actually work in changing my attitude, which is really what allows me to determine the good heavy and the bad heavy. And it's okay because I've seen how the heaviness pushes me to places I would never go to on my own. Deep places where I discover more about the God I trust. Places where creativity is awakened in me that would otherwise sleep soundly.

So, I am grateful. Not every minute of every day, mind you. But yes, there is a gratitude more accessible to me under the weight of this "good heavy" season, including the depth of beauty and inspiration that can only be found there. I look forward to discovering more in the deep, and hopefully sharing the art that rises up from there during this season. Stay tuned...
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