 Some days I care. Some days I don't. Some days I try my hardest to work within the confines of the system. Some days I think the system is the enemy and I pick up my rebel pen and write what will likely never be heard. Some days I embrace my place in the world and some days I am so green with envy I could play Elphaba without an ounce of makeup. Some days I thank God He made me a writer. Other days I curse the journey.
I've made a very bad living (okay, a decent part time job) out of writing things people want to hear. Songs I truly believe people need to hear. And I am genuinely grateful for that. I just don't think people want to hear that stuff all the time. I think there are days people want someone to enter into their sadness or frustration or pain and express it in ways they don't know how to on their own. I don't want to live, or write, every second in that world, but I can't deny the therapeutic value of getting those thoughts out of my system in the hope I am not alone. I haven't found a place in the world for those songs. Maybe there isn't one. Maybe it's just here. I really don't know. I only know that when I hit "post" on this blog a small weight will be off my shoulders. I have wrestled with whether or not that's okay and I guess the fact you're now reading this means I decided it is. So, here you go. I wish I was always an overflowing fount of positivity and grace and joy. I pray for the day I will be. Today, however, you get to see this - the ongoing struggle with my humanity. For better or worse, this is how I feel today. Just a mess of a work in progress who is longing for better days. The Ghost of Us V1 I walked out and closed the door Don’t go back there anymore But now and then I hear a sound And I can’t help but turn around V2 Take a breath and drop your guard Start to think you’ve come so far Step by step into the light But shadows don’t give up the fight CHORUS Most of us are living with the ghost of us And hope no one will notice us Dancing in the dark Could it be the war with this humanity Is just the way it has to be As long as we have scars V3 Yesterday is gravity The pull that leaves us questioning If we can trust the promises That it won’t always feel like this Tell me it won’t always feel like this CHORUS BRIDGE The break, the bleed The want, the need The proof that we Are not where we are meant to be CHORUS
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