Missing Moments and Why I Write Songs

I am missing something tonight.  It’s a celebration of something pretty cool in my professional life - a #1 song.  Those don’t come around every day so it is definitely something to celebrate.  So later today, in Nashville, friends will gather to acknowledge those people who made it happen:  the songwriters, the artists, the radio promoters, and many others who at one point or another, gave their time, energy and talents to a song.  My co-writer and his wife will be there so they will send pictures I’m sure.  And I’m told some wall art is headed my way, so that’s nice.  

I’m also missing a writers retreat in Georgia this weekend.  It’s an annual gathering where songwriters from all over the country meet to write songs for three days.  For a songwriter, it’s about as close to heaven as you can get.  I’ve gone to this retreat many times, but this year it just wasn’t in the cards.  

A few weeks ago I was talking to my son about the sacrifices we make in order to succeed in our careers.  I have already seen him making hard choices in order to do what he loves. But our conversation was more about the things we shouldn’t sacrifice on our professional journeys. Those are the choices that can be really tough.  Because deciding what we won’t miss can have steep consequences.  

My current season of life has me still chasing kids and launching them into the next phase of their own journey.  It is a season that is exhausting and beautiful and frustrating and inspiring and will likely go down as the most rewarding thing I have ever done.  It is also a season of missing moments in my professional life like song camps, once-in-a-lifetime co-writes, opportunities to network and on and on.  And while I know my choice to live where I live and do what I do has had consequences for me as a writer, I wouldn’t change one choice I’ve made.  Because I will NEVER get these days back.  And they matter to me more than the other stuff.  

Please don’t think I happily roll through these days without grumbling.  I have pouted and whined and complained about not being at events and missing out on opportunities.  I can be miserably awful that way and it isn’t pretty.  Eventually I shake myself out of it, usually with the help of a friend who gets it or by going on a run or by eating crap. I’m all about balance when it comes to coping.  

Yes, this is a season of missing moments.  But isn’t every season like that?  The bottom line is we can’t do it all.  We can’t have it all.  We can’t be at everything.  We can’t please everyone.  We just do the best we can at making choices and living with the consequences.  And we move on from one season to the next.  

A few weeks ago I was having one of my regular “I quit” moments.  I’ve had some great things happen as a writer the past couple of years, but it has also been insanely frustrating as well.  I won’t go into all the details as to why, but those moments are usually fueled by something regarding the business side of the music business.  It can be infuriating.  And it makes me forget why I started writing songs in the first place. 

​During this particular “I quit” moment, I also had the realization that I can’t quit.  It’s what I do.  It’s how I communicate.  How I process life.  How I cope.  So, I decided to sit and write down all the reasons why I write songs and then craft those reasons into a song.  (I’ve posted the lyric below) There were a lot of reasons. The next day I wrote some more and then shaped and chiseled and pruned and rewrote until I finally looked at the lyric and thought, “That’s it.  That’s why I write.”  I put words to melody and camp up with a song that will likely never find a life outside my own little world, but it’s just about my favorite thing I’ve ever written.  

The coolest thing about all of this, is how the reasons included in this lyric have nothing to do with number one songs or co-writes or networking.  They are all about moving people.  And the truth is, the moments that I have chosen NOT to miss have been the moments that inspired some of my favorite songs.  I wish I could remember that during my pity-parties.  I wish I could remember the days ordained for me are planned out so my experiences will merge with my passion in a way I could never predict or make happen by my own effort.  The beauty and mystery of all that leaves me in awe.  And because I am a songwriter I will probably try and put my thoughts about that beauty and mystery into a song.  I guess I can’t help it.  


The Song
by Gina Boe

VERSE 1
To make a heart beat faster, to slow a moment down
To pose a question asking, to give an answer found
To capture fleeting seconds, to chronicle the years
To soothe a wounded lover, to calm the mourner’s fears

I answer to the call in me
To fashion words and melodies

CHORUS                          
And the poet won’t be silenced
The composer can’t be tamed
And It’s futile even trying
To attempt my own escape
From this sacred place of honor
Where my soul forever longs
For the duty and the priv’lege
Of breathing life into a song

VERSE 2
To celebrate the victor, to sound the loser’s cry
To wonder at the myst’ry, to beg for reasons why 
To bless the gift and giver, to curse the days of pain
To quiet to a whisper, to shout a louder praise

I answer to the call in me
To fashion words and melodies

CHORUS

VERSE 3
To tell the old, old story, to grace the sinners ears
To lift my eyes to glory, to pray that someone hears
And if the only listener, is He who gives the song
I’ll be the foolish minstrel until my days are gone

CHORUS

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