Goodbye 2023

I never really know how to begin this end of the year blog. How do you close out a 365-day season that has been filled with so much. So many emotions, experiences, changes, dreams, disappointments, relationships. It it impossible to encapsulate the moments that have made up 2023. But the writer in me has to try, so here it goes.

​First, a brief list of random thoughts and points of gratitude:

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1. I have growing fingernails and a mostly-full set of eyelashes. I could cry just thinking about it. 
2. I joined the Y again and have felt the energy to go regularly. Again, tears.
3. Our family grew by two. The goodness of God. 
4. Broken hearts are mending. The faithfulness of God.
5. I love writing and the opportunities I have been given to do what I love. The kindness of God. 
6. Pets are amazing companions and are perfectly acceptable reasons for deep grieving and great celebration. I know not everyone agrees - I'm praying for you. 
7. I have incredible friends. They are patient, generous, funny, loving, kind, and forgiving. 

If you've been someone I've hung out with much in 2023, you are likely well aware that I am now a person who is easily moved to tears. VERY easily.  In fact, I probably should have written this blog at home and not at a coffee shop where people are wondering what's wrong with the lady in the corner. Get it together, Gina. I've mentioned before how I felt like cancer heightened all my emotions and allowed me a sensitivity to people and things I hadn't had before.  It was one of the great gifts cancer gave me and probably the only lingering symptom from this stupid disease that I hope never goes away. Those tear-filled emotions have served me well as they help wash away things that cloud my view, allowing me to see more clearly as I look toward the start of a new year. 

When I think about all that was lost and gained in 2023, what I am left with is the question of what I want to intentionally rid myself of and what I want to hold tightly to in 2024. And because diving into a new year will forever be linked to the timing of my diagnosis, I suppose it will always be impossible to not look to a future without feeling a sense of urgency - because time is fleeting, and no moment or day or year is guaranteed. I own that perspective not as a curse, but a blessing. It moves me in a direction I likely would not have taken otherwise. 

I am more okay than ever with letting go - of things, expectations, relationships, dreams, emotions, and responsibilities. Letting go not out of frustration or anger or disappointment, but because I have a greater understanding of how some things aren't meant to be held tightly forever. Some things are meant to serve us for a season, or given to us to serve others for a season. I feel this deeply as I consider so much of what I'm hoping 2024 will look like. Other thoughts that are guiding my decision-making mostly revolve around my health, my capacity to create, and a fierce commitment to simplify my life in every aspect. So now, another list. Not goals, not dreams, not plans - just thoughts that are shaping my approach to a new year. 

1. "A heart at peace gives life to the body." So many choices for next year will be with the intent of living with greater peace in my heart for the sake of giving life to my body. Too much of the past three years has been consumed by cancer and the fallout of waging that war. There are big prayers going up that next year looks a whole lot better in that department. 
2. Meaningful work is a game-changer. I am more committed than ever to operating in my sweet spot. 
3. Understanding my capacity and not caring about the capacity of others is incredibly freeing. 
​4. My current perspective on social media - while necessary and impactful for my business and my clients, it is of little use to my personal life. While I do appreciate the life updates from those I am not in contact with regularly, too much of what I see posted is either a complete misrepresentation of what I know to be true of people's lives, passive aggressive behavior that serves no purpose other than to inflict pain, and the occasional tirade over politics, religion, or the economy. I guess I just see it doing more harm than good and for now, I'm fine to minimally take part. 
5. I want to love the people in my life well, which means, in part, entrusting them to greater Love than mine. That isn't always easy, but I'm trying to learn how to love my people better and cheer them on as they do their thing. 
6. I love writing. There will definitely be more of that in 2024. What form that will take, well, stay tuned.  
7. All in all, I hope my next 365 days are kinder, braver, simpler, healthier, more creative, and more peaceful than the previous 365. Not too much to ask, right? :) 

Happy New Year, all! May you enter this next season full of hope for the days ahead! 

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