Peace Be Mine

My word for 2024 didn't come to me until I was writing my last blog of 2023. I don't always have a word for the year, and in fact, I hadn't planned on having one for this year. But as I was on the elliptical machine this morning, listening to a podcast about habits, it became clear that my word for the year should be PEACE. That might sound like a strange place and time to be convinced a word like peace should be your word for the year, seeing as how the local YMCA isn't exactly the most peaceful place on the planet. And yet, here I am with a word for the year now. And it feels very fitting. 

I love routine. Regular practices help settle my emotions and give a structure to my days which is desperately needed in my life as a self-employed creative. So today when I was trying to sweat out physical and emotional toxins, listening to someone tell me how the ordinary habits of our days lead to living  extraordinary lives, I was convinced of the need to have some kind of foundation for my approach to a new year. Interestingly enough, I had already laid that foundation for my year as I closed out the year before. 

Peace hasn't exactly been my close companion over the past few years. There have definitely been moments when I have experienced its presence, but I wouldn't say I have been enveloped by the feeling of my heart being at rest on a regular basis. So this year, I have determined to seek peace in my heart, for a variety of reasons, but mostly because of the Proverb that says, "A heart at peace gives life to the body." My body has been fighting for life for three years now and as I looked to a new year and considered the practices I need to adopt in order to keep cancer at bay, I can see how important keeping my heart at peace will be to my overall health.  

So, how does that happen?  What do I need to do to keep my heart at peace? Easier said than done when life throws its most poisonous darts at you: fear, insecurity, jealousy, sickness, and brokenness in all its forms. All the realities of living in a world that is not our home. And yet, Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you." So why haven't I experienced more of that peace?  And how can I experience more of that in the year to come?  These are the questions I've asked myself in recent days. 

A few weeks ago, I was having a bad day. Really bad. One of those days when you sit at the kitchen counter for most of the morning and do nothing but cry. I was fearful and sad. At some point, I told God, "Okay, I know all the things I'm supposed to do in times like this. All the things. And yet, I'm still here feeling completely incapable of moving on from this very unhappy, unsettled place. So, You'd better do something." I'm not sure that's the way you're supposed to talk to God, but those were the words that poured out in the moment. I was desperate for some peace. 

Within a few minutes I received a text from a friend who leads an organization I have worked with in the past. It was the organization's "birthday" and he was reaching out to ask how he could pray for my family. Peace be mine. A little while later I received a text from a friend I hadn't connect with in quite a while. She was checking in because she was thinking of one of my kids and wanted to reach out to them. Peace be mine. Later that day I got a call from a number I didn't recognize so I let it go to voicemail. I listened to the message from a woman I don't know well, but our paths have crossed a few times through mutual friends. She had seen something on social media that prompted her to call (yes, make an actual phone call) and let me know she was praying for me. Peace be mine. With each interaction, I felt a weight being lifted. My problems weren't solved. Broken relationships weren't mended. But a prayer had been heard and answered. I asked for peace and peace came in ways I didn't expect. Thank you, Prince of Peace. 

I don't want this year to be one in which I only look to be the recipient of the peace that's been promised me. I want to be someone who brings peace to others. I'm trying to figure out how to be better at that. Offering peace to someone might mean reaching out or shutting up. It might mean holding tighter or letting go. It might look like being present or staying absent. The hard part is knowing which action to take in each situation. I'm pretty sure I've gotten it wrong more than I've gotten it right, but I'm learning. I think it might start with a simple prayer - peace be mine. Asking God to grant me His peace to not become anxious over the matter at hand, then asking for wisdom on how to best respond to give peace to others. I would love to get to the end of 2024 feeling like I'd done my part to bring peace to someone else's heart and not be the reason someone didn't have peace in their heart. So much to learn. So many opportunities to grow. 

I guess St. Francis of Assisi says it pretty well, too. 

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
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Amen.


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